The morning is not a good one although it's only been abt 1/2hr since i woke up.
unlike the prev days, the first thing dat came to my mind when i woke up is her.
guess after last nite's conversation, things have turned for the worst in some ways.
and it's kinda frightful dat we might not be frens any longer.
it's not dat i do not wish to be frens w her. it's juz i need time away for myself to adjust.
i dun think i am quite capable of seeing her every now and then, which based on recent events, abt every 2 weeks, and still will be able to get over her.
guess rite now, my heart's in a bit of a mess. before last nite, things seemed so clear-cut and straight-forward.
we had broken up and it's time to move on coz she doesn't see us getting back together anyway.
after last nite, found out dat we were only on a break, but it ended up a break up.
tho it's clear and straight-forward once more, it juz seems more 心烦.
things might not have turned out dis bad and might have turned out for the better had the conversation not take place.
spoke to ms snooze and mngern abt it coz i couldn't go sleep. and both gave pretty opposite views. not dat any of them are wrong.
both are rite with their own merits. but i think i've decided to let it go. thanx to both of you for listening.
guess now's the time to pack her stuff and juz keep them in a litte corner of my room.
dun think i have the heart to juz throw them all away. dat'll juz b too cruel and dat'll leave me with nothing to remember those times.
now that this chapter of my life is closed in some way, there's still the bit of getting over her.
i wish her all the best with her career and dat she'll find a guy who'll fit her bill and love her.
the tot of having to lay this 5 1/2 yr old relationship to rest juz saddens me. somehow, it din seem this bad abt a month ago.
Wednesday, August 24, 2005
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1 comment:
yo. 1st leaving comment man. anyway, just wanna say that it's no prob abt the whole spending time thingy - after all like you said, i'm single too. and bored. and no money as well. heh. so we're kinda in the same boat anyway. and what the heck, we're friends.
on another note, just wanna say that i don't think what u did or are doing is wrong. i think there's always a need for a little 'death', a little separation first, before something new can begin, can come alive. and take the time to grieve - that's always very impt. the 'death' must be complete in order for the new life to be complete as well. and then move on. there's no rush to move on anyway. so take ur time to stay in the moment as well.
alright lar, u already know everything so i have no idea why i told u all that. but anyway, just wanna say i'm here lar hor... heh. cya gay partner!
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